Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Randomize
