I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
