I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
