She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Can you bring me the toilet please
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
