Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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