After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
