remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
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