Sry I called you an 8
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
This is my gift to your gina
me + whiskey = a bad person
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
