So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
what day is it and did you see me today?
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize