This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
