Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
