do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
