I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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