Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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