In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Randomize
