is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
