I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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