Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry jessiii_xo hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(314): View more from Missouri

Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl

Fav 43 3066 951
share tweet
(303): View more from Colorado

You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"

Fav 21 1352 6327
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(585): View more from New York

you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"

Fav 3 5042 906
share tweet
(918): View more from Oklahoma

I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack

Fav 29 7398 1348
share tweet
(352): View more from Florida

I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.

Fav 34 6519 2697
share tweet
(401): View more from Rhode Island

After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple

Fav 11 4519 1256
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(610): View more from Pennsylvania

My vibrator challenges you to a duel.

Fav 18 4242 1450
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..

Fav 5 1068 742
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.

Fav 0 33 12
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT