Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
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