Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
