on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
