so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Randomize
