i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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