i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize