do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
