But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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