Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
