I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
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