Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
She said her name was "party"
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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