The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
