So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
