I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
