Walk of Shame. In a state park.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
