I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize