Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Randomize
