I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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