Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
