The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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