Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
home. puking in laundry basket.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
this is an emotional support booty call
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Randomize
