i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
