I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
