Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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