so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Fuck appropriateness.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
My bed smells like the plague
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