He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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