the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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