FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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