we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
