you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
