Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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