we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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