is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize