And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize