Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
