well you can't waste a boner
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
