Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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