Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
is it fun? or sober?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
