i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
