you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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