I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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