Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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