I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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