Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Randomize
