I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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